Focus on the Important – Shift Your Relationship

by Sheila Finkelstein


Relationship Tip #3 in “55 Ways to Show Love” is “Focus on the things he/she does well.”Great tip. But how do these two rose photos relate to it?

The rose is beautiful. In the color photo, though, there is some distraction – on the table and in the background. It’s not a “clean” photo. This could have been altered in a photo editing program, and I had no plans to do anything with it, so I let it be.

Then, in going through the photo album on my iPhone this particular rose once again caught my eye. I wondered what it would look like in black and white. I went to one of the apps and did a “Wow!” I love it, so dramatic and rich-looking.

In the process the distracting background got camouflaged and some of the elements still noticeable appear to be an integral part of a planned composition. Total attention/focus is on the central beauty of the flower. The thing the rose does well IS be beautiful.

Action Queries and Steps
I now invite you to look at one of your relationships. It could even be with yourself.

What’s around him/her/you? What distractions pull you away from looking directly at him/her/you?

What if you were to disappear, in your mind, all of those extraneous bits and pieces, most likely mainly in your thoughts, and were to focus solely on the person, the traits and actions you admire and love? What might become available to you and them?

I invite you to “try this on” . Be in the space of the query, then the action of “playing” with the strengths that you saw. I invite you to add your experience in the comments below.

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